Diary of a Single Mum...xo

I've decided to start writing about my adventures of being a single mum, so as a part of this blog i will write tips and tricks of how to feel good, but there will also be a part called "Diary of a Single Mum" which will be my way of expressing what I am going through. Maybe some will say its my own therapy, maybe it will provide therapy to others. At any point it's something I want to do...take it or leave it.

Being a mum is the best thing and hardest I have ever done. That is just a general statement for any parent but double it and that is what it is as a single parent. I dont have someone to share the trial and tribulations of raising a child. Its new to me, as it is every first time parent and the 'other side' (when I say that I'm refering to the Seb's father and his corresponding family) is quite a challenge especially when they think 'hating me' is ok and that 'Its my fault, they are all the innocent victims'.

Anyway I am digressing... Simply I want to write down what goes through my mind being a single mum dealing with all these new and wonderful things I am encountering on a day to day basis. So join me on my adventures, or misadventures, being a single mum and trying to feel good doing it...xo

Jennifer Garner finally says something most mums are scared to embrace...well I am...

Today scrolling through my facebook feed I saw the title "Jennifer Garner confirm baby bump" and I thought to myself...'Again?'

But thats not at all what she was confirming and it was quite heartwarming to hear what she said to Ellen about it when she was asked the question...

(This image was posted on magazine covers saying "Bump Watch?")

She mentioned she gets asked about it all the time, with people congratulating her on baby number 4. She confirmed she was not pregnant but she did indeed "have a baby bump, and will always have a baby bump"

I thought it was cute that she said her baby bump was called" Violet, Sam, and Sera"

Many women work hard to get back to their pre baby body. I know I have tried hard, well as best I can with minimal time to exercise, along with my addiction to chocolate. And I have lost the weight, I fit the clothes I fit before my son was born, but my body has changed. I have more cellulite then I did, I have spider veins (yuk!) and my stomach just wont go back to flat. I know if I dropped carbs and worked out everyday I could get abs of steel, but thats something I just don't have time for and having a slight bump is ok...I think those of us who hate the "bump" need to be ok with it and not be so hard on ourselves...

I often hate when women say 'but it shows that I made my baby'...I don't care, I don't want that excess skin. But realistically I wouldn't give up for son to have the flat stomach I once had and thats just the fact of the matter...xo

Watch the interview here : Truth about the Bump care of The Ellen De Generous Show.

Enjoying a good TV series...not as easy as it use to be...

So its no secret I love my TV, and get stuck into numerous TV shows...at the moment its Downton Abbey, Sons of Anarchy, Game of Thrones, Reign, The Vampire Diaries, The Mindy Project, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Melbourne, OC etc and the list goes on...

Pre baby I had all the time in the world to be up to to date with all these shows. I could be involved in talk with friends about when Emily would finally seek revenge on the Graysons, or what will happen next to Chuck Bass,  and will Ross and Rachel ever end up together. I had watched all 10 series of friends like 8 times over, all Will & grace seasons at least 6 times, and good old Gilmore Girls have been on rerun in my DVD player about 4 times now.

Now once my little one was born, he didn't do much...babies don't. And you don't have a huge amount to do except feed the baby and watch it sleep so I had a lot of time to watch TV. So much so I managed to watch seasons 2-5 of Mad Men in 2 weeks! Madness.

Now working full time with a almost 2 year old I am way behind. For instance Sons of Anarchy are on their final season and everyone is talking about it. Yet I'm just at the start of season 3. Now its not a show you can have on in the background, like you can with a comedy such as they Big Bang Theory or The Real housewives, so finding the time when the little one is asleep (and without chores to do) is hard. So going at the rate I'm going I will have watched the final of Sons of Anarchy by June 2017.

This predicament has lead me to more trash TV then I use to watch. This is where The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and OC, even Melbourne, has come into play. These heavily botoxed, overdressed for a cup of tea, millionaire women live a life of luxury. We watch how their "friendships" pan out. I highlight "friendships" as I think they are forced to hang out for the purpose of the show. I don't care. Their luxurious mansions, numerous sports cars and exclusive fine dining gets me hooked....they of course throw in a good bitch fight and I'm in heaven! These women just seem ridiculous, and their issues even more ridiculous, but I wouldn't mind living on the beaches of Los Angeles sitting by the pool side sipping cocktails whilst looking over the neighbouring rich people near by. Ah the life.

The Real Housewives of OC (Seasons 9 Cast)

The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills (Season 2 Cast)

The great thing about this show is you could miss a full 10 mins of dialogue and still know whats going on, and who has managed to upset who. This is the TV I can handle whilst my little one is banging blocks and I'm stacking the dishwasher whilst hanging clothes out to dry.

Now I can hear you all saying...seriously...but you may enjoy reading a good book, or sitting outside drinking a cup of tea in peace, reading the paper, or simply surfing the net. No matter what you hobby or guilty pleasure is, there is one thing I can say for sure it will be limited by the time baby comes along. Don't let it go though. Just make sure you make time for it, and the time you do get to do what you love to do, you make it count...ok a little melodramatic in relation to TV but you understand the point I'm trying to make...

Now since my little one is asleep its back to catching up on Sons of Anarchy and wondering whether Jax gets Abel back....shhhh dont tell me ;)... X O X O Gossip Girl ;)

Trying to get 'beauty treatments' whilst with a little one...

Its definitely hard being a single mum...I feel like Im leading 2 lives and they don't seem to go together very well...one hand I'm a mum...I change nappies, sing 'wheels on the bus' on repeat, dance, clean up toys, do laundry, cook, the list goes on. On the other hand I'm a single woman ,working full time trying to work on a career, as well as start dating again (eek! Still not sure about that concept but I'll get to that one day)

Now to me this what I look like as a mum (but my hair is in a lot worse condition along with my uneven skin tone)

This is what I feel I should (hope I would) look like as a woman developing her career and going out to meet gorgeous single men...

Ok I don't look anything like JessicaAlba but I would like to imagine I did...

Anyway the things I use to do a regular basis to keep myself maintained is going to the beauty salon and getting my eyebrows waxed among other things. Its not a proud moment but its something I feel I need to do to keep myself in good condition. Whilst pregnant I kept this up. There was no way that I was going to have a baby untidy...

Now continuing this after baby is hard enough but  to try and still be the girl I was once was before baby, before marriage, and divorce, I need to find time to ensure I stay maintained (I feel more comfortable saying this then saying that I get a brazilian wax...so I'm sticking with maintained...)

I am happy to say I have managed to do this in effort to help me stick to the career driven, single girl, I once was. In the beginning this was easy. When my boy was a baby he simply sat in the pram and didn't do much...but now he is more of a toddler then baby making this a whole new experience which I can't wait to share with him on his 21st birthday amongst all his friends.

Last week when I went to my appointment my little man was adamant to sit on my stomach and watch as the lady waxed and plucked my eyebrows. She even gave him a paddle stick and he proceeded to try and help. Oh and my favourite part is whenever she ripped the waxed he would say "uh oh".

Here I am lying on a bed wanting this moment over, having my son squash my stomach, while I go through such a painful experience (now its nothing like childbirth but  lets be honest its not a great  experience either)

I cant believe my life has come to this. But I continue to try and merge these two worlds together. Like any woman I want it all.

Now for my knight in shining armour...I'm waiting...xo

Quick, Easy and Cheap dinner for one...

Being a single mum and trying to stay healthy is really hard...when you are tired our of your mind its so easy to hit up the packet of chocolate teddy bear biscuits over an apple...or soft drink over water.

Tonights special of the day is stir fried rice with veggies for under $2.50 and cooked in under 5 minutes...

Simple take a 90sec microwave bag of brown rice (Coles have one at $1.00, there is a really good one from sunrice with brown rice and quinoa but thats around $3.28) A small bag of frozen veggies (Bag of 5 is around $5). Pop the veggies in microwave to steam then add to a fry pan with a bit of oil and garlic. Cook the rice in the microwave and add when ready. Stir in soy sauce for a minute whilst stirring veggies through and bang you are done!

Now there are many alternatives, you could buy bulk packets of frozen vegetables and create your own portions. You can make more rice and creates serves for the rest of the week.

You can add meat by cooking that up in the pan prior to the veggies and get that added protein and iron.

The world is your oyster!

Oh and that soft drink you are craving...try mineral water (75c Coles Home Brand 1.25 lt) with a slice of lemon! Yum!

Homemade Museli...

           I am just loving my morning muesli these days and I find it filling and satisfying...and most importantly rich in flavour. The other bonus to it is that it is much more affordable then buying it off the shelf and by making it yourself you know what is in it... so here is the recipe...simple and easy (which is the way I like to bake or cook)

Ingredients

3 Cups of Coconut Flakes (these are hard to find but health food shops have them, otherwise there is shredded coconut at Coles or Safeway which also works)
3 Cups of Rolled Oats
1 Teaspoon of Chia Seeds
1/2 Cup of Pumpkin Seeds
1/2 Cup of sunflower seeds
1 cup of mixed nuts (which I tend to crush up into small pieces, or slices)
5 Table Spoons of Coconut Oil (melted)

Method

Preheat Oven to 180 degrees fan forced
Mix all the ingredients together in a big bowl leaving the oil until last as these gives helps toast it and give it that sweet flavour. Its a much healthier option then sugar.
Spread it across 2 trays.
Put in the oven for 10 minutes and then check as it toasts quite quickly. Shuffle the muesli around to try and bake the other side of the flakes and nuts.
Give it another 10 minutes and it should be done. Its more up to you how toasted you want your muesli to me. I find 20-25 minutes in total tends to make it quite nice and crunchy
Let is cool (and by the way your kitchen will smell amazing)
Put it in an air tight container to keep it fresh and it should last for a couple of weeks depending on how much you eat of it and how many days per week.

Final Touches

I usually pack 4 -5 Tablespoons in a container and take it to work with Jalna Sweet and Creamy Yoghurt (as I am a sweet tooth..there are low fat options...most supermarkets stock this brand) and you can either use defrosted frozen berries or fresh. Coming into Summer the Strawberries, Blueberries and Raspberries are quite affordable and I definitely recommend fresh over frozen. However again its flexible and up to you.

Other things to note...if you don't like nuts or seeds then don't use them. If you want dried fruit mix in sultanas or dried apple once the muesli has cooled out of the oven.

Enjoy...xo

Tips to the perfect fake tan...

So the sun is beginning shine and the weather is getting warmer (Yay!) but the legs are white as a ghost (boo!)

So I have been desperately trying to try and self tan so I can wear my skirts to work. I often get laughed at for the patches, or orange tone I seem to develop. I don't care usually as, well, its better then blinding white legs, but after I applied tonight I thought what are the the critical things you need to know to get the perfect tan...

I know you should exfoliate prior to tanning to get rid of all dead skin cells. I also learnt that a bit of moisturiser before application, especially around knees and elbows, helps the tan to build up in those areas creating those orange spots on your joints...however after doing a bit of online research I learnt a few things and worked out I have being doing a few things wrong...so here is a summary of what I have learnt...

First, Prep Work...so I usually exfoliate in the shower and shave my legs (as I know if you shave when you have a fake tan it reduces the longevity of the tan). What you should do...

1. Exfoliate (Check). Sources say often the body scrubs developed by the fake tan companies are the best. The apparently tend to be stronger and best for removing those dead skins cells. Also it is important to ensure your scrub isn't too oil, if its left on your skin it can make it hard for the tan to take.

2. Shaving time. Now here is what I didn't know. Apparently you should shave the day before (or at least 12 hours before application, and 24 hours prior for waxers). This is due to the face that just shaven skin is quite sensitive and reactive to the tanning formulation.

3. Avoid Deodorants, Perfumes and oils as perviously stated. It creates barriers for the tan to take.

 

4. Apply moisturiser to dry areas such as knees, elbows, and heels (check) apparently it helps  the tanner from saturating those areas.

5. Wear loose fitting clothing to allow tan to be able to set properly. Night is the best option as it allows time to set without clothes rubbing it off (unless its a hot night then maybe best not too so that it doesn't stain your sheets...hot tip!)

Second, Application...ready to go. So pretty self explanatory I thought, use a mit, apply it evenly (not so easy) and not so much on joints...but this is what I learnt that I now know I'm have not been doing right at all (hence over tanned feet...eek!)

1. Apply tan with the use of a mit (check...as it avoids tan on the hands and showing those obvious "I tanned myself" signs) and rub cream (they recommend creams are the best but I'll get to that) on the large areas of the body first (I hate using the word large when talking about the body, but you know what I mean) then focus on smaller parts of body, such as feet (That might be the solution to my over tanned feet problem?!)

2. Use the best product that suits you. There are numerous brands and types on market, St. Tropez and Bondi Sands are my favourites (I usually find St Tropez is cheapest at Chemist Warehouse for under $40, and you can find Bondi Sands at Priceline for about $19.99). With Dove Summer Body Glow being my favourite daily tinted moisturiser (Also really cheap at Chemist Warehouse for under $5). Generally creams are the most moisturising option, however they are usually non tinted and need to be applied with extra care to not miss any spots. Sprays are apparently better for topping up tans as they can be tricky to manoeuvre, and those without a 360 degree nozzle hard to get coverage in those harder to reach areas. And finally theres mousse which is the most popular as they usually have built in bronzers allowing you to see where you have applied. I personally find it gives the best colour but is the hardest to spread evenly.

3. Choose the right shade...now I thought being white as a ghost use a dark shade, as opposed to a light to medium to get my legs tanned ASAP. Apparently I was wrong.  If you are fair and want to go dark, do a couple of applications of a light-to-medium shade and develop a more natural looking tan.

Third, Maintenance...usually I use the Dove Summer Body glow moisturiser on a daily basis and obviously pat dry after the shower.

1. Whilst in the initial first 8 hours, while your tan is developing, avoid light clothing as it easily rubs off on the clothes, or will create a nice patchy look.

2. Do not shower 6-8 hours after application. The longer you allow it to develop the darker the tan needs to be

3. Exfoliate about 3 days after you have tanned. Exfoliating dead skin cells as this point helps the tan fade evenly.

4. Pat Dry after your shower to avoid tan coming off prematurely.

5. To make sure your tan endures you need to stay hydrated. Drink lots of water and apply moisturiser daily. There are tan extended products on the market that you can try. One is the Reef Coconut After Sun and Tan Extender which is relatively inexpensive at $10.50 from Priceline.

Now my tan right now wont be so great, I have learnt I have already done a few things wrong in the process. However I now know what I need to do to ensure I have a more natural looking tan...at least I hope...xo